What You Should Know Before You Start Therapy

You've decided to try therapy — that's a big deal and a brave one! Whether it's your first experience or you're restarting therapy after some time away, it's normal to feel uncertain about what to expect. Hopefully, these points will help ease your mind. More questions? You can schedule a free consultation with me to learn more!

Finding the Right Fit Takes Time

Therapist-matching isn't always a one-and-done process. Different therapists use different approaches, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), EMDR, play therapy, somatic work, and more — and what works for one person might not work for another. If it takes a few tries to find your fit, that's okay! Always ask if a therapist offers free consultations; this will help give you a better sense of their personality, what sessions may be like with them, and more. The main takeaway is to be patient with yourself during this process.

It's Okay If It's Not the Right Fit

This deserves its own moment. If something feels off — whether it's the therapist's style, communication, or just a gut feeling — that's important information worth honoring. A good therapeutic relationship should feel safe, not forced. You are not obligated to stay with someone just because you started with them. Moving on to find a better fit isn't quitting; it's advocating for yourself and your healing.

It May Take Up to 5 Sessions to Feel Truly Connected to Your Therapist

Research consistently shows that the biggest predictor of success in therapy isn't the specific technique used — it's the quality of the relationship between you and your therapist. You need to feel safe, respected, and genuinely heard. When that foundation is there, real work can happen. When it isn't, it's worth paying attention to that.

Progress Can Be Tough to Identify

Therapy rarely delivers an obvious "a-ha" moment that changes everything overnight. Progress may show up quietly — in how you respond to a stressful situation, in a boundary you set without thinking twice, in a pattern you finally recognize in real time. It's easy to feel like nothing is happening when actually a lot is shifting beneath the surface. Trust the process, even when results feel invisible.

It's Okay to Have Nothing to Talk About

Some sessions you'll walk in with a lot on your mind. Others, you'll sit down and draw a complete blank. Having nothing heavy to process is a chance to talk about what's going well, what you're grateful for, or what's been bringing you joy. It's just as important to spend time reflecting, celebrating, and acknowledging when things go well. Learning to articulate the positives is just as valuable a skill as unpacking the hard stuff.

You Have Permission to Speak Up and Advocate for Yourself

Your therapist is someone you're working with, not someone you need to please. If something they say doesn't land right, if you want to shift focus, if a certain approach isn't working — you can say so. I know this can be incredibly difficult; speaking up about what you need is the work. A good therapist will encourage you to self-advocate in a safe space to do so, without backlash.

Starting Is the Hardest Part

For most people, making the first appointment is the biggest hurdle. You don't have to have a clear reason. You don't have to be in crisis. You can simply show up and say, "I'm not sure where to start" — and that's a perfectly valid place to begin.

Therapy is one of the most powerful investments you can make in yourself. And you deserve that.

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Have questions about finding a therapist or figuring out where to start? Schedule a free consultation through the form below.